“But eventually, I realized that if I wanted to keep my sanity and not to let others define me, there was only one thing I could do, and that was to have faith in God’s plan for me.” – Michelle Obama
I mastered my 20s. I changed my mind a few times on what I wanted to do with my life so I kept going back to school and have multiple degrees to show for all my indecision. I quickly grew bored with the dating scene so I found and eventually married the love of my life (or should I say he found me?). I partied but spent more time napping and shopping. I loved to dress up but not so much that I had to be at every event. My first go round at college taught me that the limelight was not for everyone. I look back at those 10 years even now with a sincere smile.
The past year of my life has been such a new adventure, such a roller coaster, that I did not even realize that I had stopped enjoying the ride somewhere along the way. A new job, another child, and the transfer of my favorite pastor damaged my sense of equilibrium.
The change is actually too much for me, and I do not know how to adjust. While on the outside it appears I have finally found my groove, I am more confused than ever. I have a house, and a husband, a career, and of course 2.5 children – a boy, a girl, and a dog. I understood my twenties. And they understood me. We accepted each other for who we were. My thirties and I have not reached that same mutual understanding. I am LOST. I mean, am I really supposed to trade in my mini dresses, bikinis, and short shorts for mom jeans, sneakers, and unintentionally oversized sweaters? Do I have to spend ALL MY TIME at parties talking about my children, and my next home renovation, and my latest health craze? Is there anywhere I can go where dressing up is not met with a, “well where are you going today?” Why can’t I get dressed up just to go shopping, or to the park? Why is this no longer okay?
As such, I spend a majority of my days trying to re-establish new norms. I’m trying to figure out this new job. I’m trying to figure out this whole mother of two thing. And the politics of this whole no pastor at church until further notice…absolutely overwhelming. I am treading water to keep from drowning in my surroundings.
This morning, the first lady reminded me there is only one norm, and that is being yourself – following the path specifically and intentionally designed just for you. Amy Bloom followed up on a lovely Instagram quote stating, “You are perfect, permanently and inevitably flawed – and you are beautiful.”
My thirties are definitely a work in progress. I almost entitled this blog “Installing Updates…This may take a minute.” In our technology filled world, that title embodies what I feel at this moment.
1. Updates come whether or not you are ready for their arrival. You can be working along on your computer or your phone and a message will appear that an update is ready to install. You can either reschedule the update for a later time, or you can go ahead and install the update now. Either way the update must take place for optimal technology usage. The same holds for life. Every once in a while it forces you to change but only so you can operate in a new and improved version.
2. You cannot see the changes until the update is finished. You may not glimpse at what is happening as they are installing. You can only see the finished product. Some changes are subtle while others are in your face, but all of them require a little time while things are completely black. All you can do is wait.
3. You must first reboot before changes can take place. To let go for God to reboot is hard for some. To give complete control to outside sources that claim this will make you better can certainly be overwhelming – a perfect descriptor for my current state.
However, I recognize that God is doing some things for me, in me, and around me.
Michelle Obama finishes by saying, “I had to ignore all of the noise and be true to myself – and the rest would work itself out.”
And there it is…Until next time, keep on living ordinary life – extraordinarily.
What are some ways that you cope with life’s transitions? How do you handle updates?
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